Red Brick

AS you may or may not know, I haven't always been a software engineer.

I've had many jobs but one of the most satisfying was the time I spent working as a janitor in a university.

It wasn't the greatest place, just a red brick with average reputation.

Now, generally I like people and the students there were all pretty cool. There was one girl however I couldn't stand. Her name was Tiffany and although she was pretty her attitude was awful. She seemed to think that just because she had been to Rhodean that the rules didn't apply to her.

She would strut round campus (often, I suspected, high on drugs) as if she owned the place.

Anyway, one day the Dean had told me about some thefts that had been going on. To try and catch the thief I had decided to install a security system. This consisted of a pin hole camera and small battery powered recorder.

I had an idea of who the thief was (a girl called Sam) so I decided to install the camera in the female changing rooms along with an empty purse as bait.

As I was installing the camera behind an air vent grating I suddenly heard a shreiked "EWWWWWW!" . I spun round and to my horror there was Tiffany!

"Trying to film girls undressing! Your disgusting!". I tried to protest my innocence, but I could see exactly how this would look.

As I waited to see what she would do her face changed. "OK," she smirked, "You've got two choices. One, I can call the police and tell them what a pervert you are, or two, you can follow me into this cubicle and do as I tell you."

No right thinking person would want to know what she made me do for her pleasure in that cubicle, so I wont tell you.

However I dont have to. For what Tiffany had so foolishly forgotten during those hours I spent in there at her whim is that my security system had been left running!

Click here if you want to see the depraved things Tiffany made me do.

Memories of Chocky

Do you remember the kids show Chocky that was on in the 80's?

I used to love that. It was about this boy called Mathew who got taken over by a telepathic alien. The alien was called Chocky and was really good at maths and asked loads of weird of questions. Only Mathew could hear Chocky.

Chocky was also a girl alien - "is Chocky a boy or a girl?" asked Mathews dad one day. "Well, I think Chocky is a girl cos she can sometimes be bossy like girls can, you know?" - Mathews dad and I smiled wryly, yes, we knew.

God I so wanted my own Chocky.

In fact I almost cried when one day Mathew upset her and she flew out the window apparently never to return (He had asked her if it would be OK if she was quiet for a few minutes because he was tired).

Anyway, changing tack slightly (bear with me) I really fancy Holly Valance the sexy australian soapstar / songstress. I remember reading she took her manager to court for forcing her career in the wrong direction. Her managers defence was basically that Holly was such a prima-donna that he couldn't get her to take the simplest instruction let alone "force her career in the wrong direction".

Bossy? Flies off in a huff when she doesn't get her way? Chocky!

OK, back to the point. In an attempt to become "integrated into society" I have recently been reevaluating my life. As part of this I have been looking back at - oh bollox to it, I wanted to watch Chocky again so I downloaded it.

As I watched in fascination (Chocky is still pretty darn good even after all this time!) something occurred to me which I'm not sure about. Is the therapy not working? Am I still dis-eased? Please tell me I'm not crazy but....... click here